Featured Wedding: Becca and Matt
Location of your Wedding
Our wedding ceremony was held at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco, and the reception was on a plot of private land in Nicasio, with a large house situated in a valley with a magnificent redwood grove. We chose that location because of the beauty of the outdoor setting, which when set up with lights and candles look like a mythical, fairy-tale setting. We also chose that space since it was a blend of elegant and earthy, and it has a wonderful open space for dancing.
The Proposal?
We had a five year engagement, which began in the temple at Burning Man in 2011. I had a powerful sense we were meant to spend our lives together, and when I told Matt "We're going to get married," he also knew it was true. It felt as though the cosmos had proposed to us both. We decided to wait five years to get married so that we would be able to align our visions of the future and get to know one another better first.
DIY Wedding Ideas
We really followed intuition in designing the wedding, making sure that each aspect of the day mirrored who both of us are and also situated us in our community of family, friends, and teachers. We went with our favorite tastes and preferences, and these blended to create a feel of the two of us as a couple. So we had important roles for our closest friends, and many aspects of the wedding—the flowers, the wedding cake, the live music, even my wedding dress—were done by family members or friends. In the case of my dress, my mother made it for me. Our flowers were white orchids, and the cake was chocolate and raspberry, with white buttercream covered in scrollwork, and the styles of each were determined by their makers instead of by us. Also, we had a concert of live music played by many of our friends, which was an especially meaningful part of the night for us.
Tips?
I would recommend leaving plenty of time for the planning and to spread it out as much as possible. A year before the wedding my mother gave me the list "Here Comes the Guide," available here, and I found having this list made planning so much more manageable. I would also remind that it's okay to ask for help: our wedding wouldn't have been possible if we hadn't had so much help from family and friends, and it's also what allowed our wedding to be so unique and such a reflection of us. Our whole community was involved, and we also found out how much people really want to help and be involved.
I would say to prepare oneself as much for the intense emotional experience on the day of the wedding and also on the day of the rehearsal—I had not expecting to be so emotionally overwhelmed by how much feeling would be passing through me and amongst all those who had come together for our wedding day. Having people around you who can keep you calm, and trying to get as much sleep is so important. And I would also say not to beat oneself up if you can't sleep the night before the wedding—recognizing that you'll be too excited to sleep seems just to need to be a part of the wedding experience.
Why vegan?
We wanted a vegan wedding because we knew everyone present would be able to eat all of the food (many of our closest friends are vegan). We also wanted a meal that was healthy, met all our values, and represented non-violence. We were so thrilled with how the dinner from Sanctuary Bistro worked out, and we heard from many guests afterwards how delicious they found the food.
How did you start the planning of this big day?
We began by finding our venues, and once those locations were confirmed then the rest of the details began falling into place. We then picked our caterer once the reception location was confirmed, which helped us to envision further. Finally, putting together the wedding party allowed us to see which personalities would be involved in the creation of the wedding.
Honey moon?
We went to Iceland for ten days!
How did the big day turn out?
The wedding was absolutely perfect, we were completely overjoyed. I was so sure something would go wrong that the big surprise for me was that nothing in fact did go wrong!
Bay Area vendor selections?
We worked with Sanctuary Bistro for catering the wedding reception, and we had a rehearsal brunch the day before at Greens Restaurant in San Francisco Elle Wildhagen, who is based in the East Bay, was our photographer. My stylist for hair and make-up on the wedding day was Kat Louis, whose studio is in San Rafael. Although our good friend Clara Lindstrom made our wedding cake, we also got two more cakes from Bi-Rite creamery in San Francisco, and a vegan chocolate cake from Good Earth in Fairfax. Also, while my sister-in-law made our floral arrangements, we did purchase four white orchid leis for each of our parents from Lee's Florist and Nursery in Berkeley. We rented tables, chairs, china, and linens from Big 4 Rentals in Marin, and we purchased wine and beer from BevMo in Albany. Everything else was done by family or friends!
Working with Sanctuary Bistro was really amazing, and so many of the questions Jennifer asked of us further helped us envision and plan the wedding. The tasting was really fun and absolutely delicious, and somehow the food on the day of the wedding was even better than at the tasting. Jennifer also very sweetly made sure my husband and I ate as soon as we arrived at the reception, something which I found extremely helpful and grounding. We decided to have as appetizers the fingerling potatoes with cashew cream, walnut stuffed mushrooms, and polenta triangles with pesto. For the main entrée we had enchiladas stuffed with sweet potato, spinach, and black beans, with either a habañero sauce or a traditional red sauce. We also had rice pilaf and beet salad. Everything was exquisitely delicious. Jennifer and her team were so kind, and did both the set-up and clean-up so beautifully. We could not have worked with better caterers!